Mental illnesses and particularly fighting them is exhausting. Many of you see me taking on challenges - eating consistently - trying foods I wouldn’t have had in the past. You see the triumph, you see the victory and sometimes you see the anxiousness but you don’t see what goes on in my head in order to prepare for these challenges, the guilt and sometimes shame I feel after certain challenges. It’s not all the time - sometimes I am stronger, I do a challenge, I feel liberated and free and it’s easy. But it’s not always like that - some days are draining, it’s a battle to not compensate, give into the urges, to work off what I’ve eaten, to not allow myself to slip up at another meal to make up for it. Why am I telling you this? Well firstly because authenticity is key, it’s easy to look at someone on Instagram and think wow - How do they do that and make it look so easy. To compare. It’s not easy - it’s damn hard but it’s important! For all of us. You know what they say about it having to be hard for us to grow? It’s true. When we challenge ourselves with a fear food or rule, we are challenging so much more than just that. We are challenging all of our beliefs processes - we are rewiring our brain and challenging the ideas that we have slowly engrained, that we have to earn food, that we aren’t worthy of food, that it is bad to eat these foods, that we will put on weight if we eat at certain times, certain foods or too much, we challenge the misconception that to gain weight makes us unworthy - because that’s bs diet culture speaking. It’s exhausting because you’re doing a lot of work. Its hard because it challenges your beliefs. It’s time consuming and a lengthy process because you’re growing spiritually and mentally and it’s necessary because this is your life and living under the rules of an eating disorder is not truly living. I know it’s hard, I know you’re tired but you need to keep pushing on through. YOU CAN DO THIS!